I have MOVED.

http://laughitout-v.blogspot.com

I just felt like I needed the CHANGE. I'm in this crazy 'Obama' mood so everything is changing. Srsly. My phone, my wallet, my clothes, my blog and my email address are all changing. But most importantly, I'm changing my perspective on life. Learning to look through glasses that only filter the good stuff. Not that bad things will never show up. It probably will, all the time. BUT. Happiness is impermanent and such a dependant variable... so I'm going to try to cultivate a joy in my heart that will carry me through always.
And ... I dunno what else. There are so many things. So many things I need to change. And this is just one small element of my big revamping project. :) This blog will still remain. With all its posts intact. So that if I ever want to revisit those memories, I can. It has tided me through long enough... and now I have left JC and doing bigger, more meaningful things (I hope) and I am blessed. Really.

So after 1,520 posts - it ends here. : )

See you at the new blog ! :D (and do relink, pls)

I crave the feeling of a child in my arms. It's crazy. How madly I'm drawn to the idea of mother and son. Everytime I see a lady holding her little boy, I wish he were mine and I were his. So beautiful, you know. The only person who's going to come into this world loving you by default, you'd never have to prove your worth.

Dear future-son, you have no idea how much I love you. Please come to me quickly, this heart can't wait so long.
Love, your mama.
PS: I already have so many names for you, but I know one thing for sure: you'll have the best first name in the world. Your middle name is what you'll go by, I'll let your daddy decide that, but your first name! It's going to be amazing! : )

I am back from India hooray :) Too awe-mazing for words.

You don't need much, just glimpses of that orange robe or big hair... fills your heart up so easily, pumping it with a strange kind of energy, a strange kind of joy, coursing through your veins giving you renewed life, renewed life; something even oxygen can't do.

get the facts first, THEN panic!

This is a post written on 11th Jan 2010 at 4:20pm in my other blog that I deleted bcos I couldn't stand to see it. And I have changed the date 'cos I don't want it to be the first post :P


Thanks to Irene (link to her blog in the sidebar), I finally know what my fear of small holes are called. TRYPOPHOBIA.

I was just telling Sneha a couple of days ago when I was in Sydney that I have this insane fear of holes. The example I used was honeycombs. I remember when I was a kid, people used to poke holes into their erasers with their pencil (even I did this) or poke staples into it to play that spinning-eraser game then later take them out leaving holes and I used to feel so ugh-ed!! That was when I realised that I hated seeing holes. Since then, I have seen so many things with holes... there was once this email that my mom showed me, it gave me nightmares for days. It was about some lady who bought a bra from a store and didn't wash it before using it for the first time and apparently there had been some worms or something that had dug holes into her breasts and there were PICTURES... I was thoroughly freaked out.

This fear actually extends to things that APPEAR to have holes in them. I remember last year a classmate and I were doing our Physics SPA graph (the one about Newton's cooling curve) in the library and there were 2 graphs that we needed to plot. So we tried to use different symbols and one was 'x' while the other was a dot with a circle around it. Seeing the dots with circles around them made me pukey. Now I realise it's because they kinda looked like little holes. BLEAURGH. I couldn't stand looking at them for more than a few seconds, so I just ripped that paper up instead of bothering to erase the symbols (even though I had to redo the first graph again). Also made said friend sit far away from me 'cos he didn't intend on getting rid of them. :P

In Irene's blog, there was a link to someone else's blog which had an entry about this phobia. As I was opening that link, I had already covered my eyes with my hand and was peeking through the gap. I scrolled DAMN FAST and saw 2 pictures, freaked out and closed the window AFAP. I actually wanted to read more about it, but I didn't dare revisit the page (apparently there's even a video? How sick!). And now I'm too afraid to even google/wiki 'tryopophobia' 'cos I'm sure there'll be some pictures involved :(

Godddd how disgusting.

Honestly, knowing that such a phobia exists and having a NAME attached to it makes me feel even worse. 'Cos it just kinda confirms my fears. And makes me feel like a mental patient. Ugh. Still having goosebumps.

Yesterday:
Last ever day in study room and MJ uniform! After which, rushed to Parkway to meet Mariam and buy baking goods (it was a long journey there from Pasir ris ><) then off to her house to begin baking our cake for Harshini. It was supposed to be this sexy Turkish tamarind-chocolate cake thing but in the end it was just chocolate cos we couldn't find Tamarind syrup (is that the thing they put in those Chaat items etc?). It was my VIRGIN CAKE. I have never baked a thing in my life, and Mariam has never baked anything that isn't from an instant mix. And we were gonna do this from SCRATCH. So I was like, "Mariam, don't worry. This is just like Chemistry SPA."... hahaha... we literally just followed the instructions like it was some titration experiment. But instead of 25cm^3 of NaOH, it was like... 80g of flour and instead of heating some compound in an evaporating dish, it was melting chocolate in our self-made double boiler of sorts.

It was good fun, I should say. Even though our cake looked damn disgusting. Cos our cream didn't come out properly, and our cake didn't rise enough either. So it was like sooo thin and thus we triple-layered it. Haha! And then we just poured chocolate everywhere, 3 different flavours of chocolate and it was like this disgusting goop thing all over the place. Her entire kitchen was a mess but here's the deal: IT TASTED AWESOME!!! And we thought we'd let Harshini decide what it was... biscuit, or brownie or cookie or pudding or whatever :P (In the end, she and her mom named it some french thingo that she'd eaten in Paris on her ACTUAL birthday - last Thursday)

So after like 5 hours of retarded baking, finally walked to Harshini's house and I came in by the front door while Mariam tried to creep in by the back door. I made up some absolute nonsense in an attempt to make conversation with Harshini while looking out for the back door. I don't think it was very nice that I turned up at her doorstep unannounced at 10pm. And she was like "oh why didn't you call?" and I was like "umm I tried" (I kind of remember Mariam talking on the phone with Harsh while Harsh told her to only call her house phone) and Harsh went "oh yeah I lost my sim card!" (and I was thinking THANK GOD cos I couldn't have lied anymore!!!!) I thought her parents were kind of on to us... but they was just as clueless omg. Tssssk. So had to handle the situation by myself... only to realise that Mariam had sent me a text saying it was LOCKED! So I told her to come by the front and she said NO! So I randomly told Harsh I needed water and we went to the kitchen. And I didn't know where the backdoor was, so I was like "oooh you have a backyard? Omg can I see" and just helped myself to the door while Harshini was like "wtf vidhu it's just the back kitchen there that's all!" and SURPRISE !!!!!! Mariam with cake and candles hehehe.

Sang songs, cut cake, smeared it on her face then crashed in her room for a while talking about random stuff before my dad came. And that was the night!

Hope Harshini liked it. It wasn't much, but it came from the heart so I guess that counts for something? :)

Came home hella tired and had the most peaceful sleep :D

Today:
HA. ALL IN A DAY'S WORK :D ...And my day only started at 2pm when I woke up and showered :P
Cleaned up A level junk and packed and ready to go to India tomorrow morning! :D

Oh and you really need to refer to this entry to know the difference.

Clean tables and everything filed or put inside cupboard... and some excess papers (like all the stacks of 09 prelim papers I bought) shoved into the box and YAY A level cleaning up doneeeee woots I am so efficient! :)

I can't be arsed to upload other pics - last day of college and Harshini's surprise so maybe when I get the mood or after coming back from India ok??

Bye!!

ScarJo was freaking gorgeous on Ellen (with Pete Yorn)! Like a pretty musician... I have no idea how I even missed it! It was in October!!! I have those songs (Relator & shampoo) and it sounds so much better live when you can actually see Scarjo hahaha :P LOVE THE WOMAN :)

Also, hello December! Oh how I have waited for you! :) Okay, not really. I don't keep track of dates etc. We just take it as it comes cos that's liiiiiife. (Michael Buble's newest album is awesome, btw)

Done.
(and done for?)

Feeling morose. >:(
How is it all ending tomorrow? I don't think I'm ready. Not ready to have my fate sealed.

Big siiiiiiigh.

And promise you kid, I'll give so much more than I get,
I just haven't met you yet.

Such a lonely day, and it's mine.